Comedy of life
by OverwhelmingOdds
Summary: An AU where Izuku did break under the harsh environment and became a cruel and mentally unstable villain. Izuku!Joker.
1. Prologue

He was beaten… Again... Lying in mud under the rain. What did he do to deserve this? Or what he didn't do?

Midorya Izuku was an ordinary boy in not so ordinary world. When the majority of people on Earth had special abilities, he had none. In the world where 80% of the population had quirks that made them special, he belonged to the quirkless minority. And for those remaining 20% life was incredibly harsh, it was like a segregation. Quirkless were ridiculed even among the adults, as for children who were immature and crueler, they made their quirkless peers' lives a living hell. And life of Izuku Midorya was indeed like hell. His early years of childhood were ruined by his former friend Bakugo Katsuki, who had a very powerful quirk. The sweat glands in his hands produced nitroglycerin-like substance that he could detonate at will creating explosions from his palms. Very dangerous quirk useful only to harm others. But that was just the right thing to have in modern Japan.

The profession of a hero has been the most popular thing almost since the first quirks appeared. Many people had superhuman abilities and some of them used their special powers to commit crimes. Other people used their powers to oppose criminals, becoming vigilantes and after some time the governments all over the world started to establish official programs to prepare super crime fighters on a professional level. In some countries they were labeled as special task force agents, super policemen licensed to use their quirks. The other approach was making them heroes who 'selflessly fought crime' and 'brought peace'. Each approach had its own pros and cons and Japan chose the latter option. Today Pro Heroes were not only crime-fighters, they were celebrities in flashy suits. Their faces can be seen everywhere – heroes were on TV, they had their own merch, they even participated in entertainment events. Of course, there were heroes who only fought crime, but the diversity in hero society was wide, there were both heroes who were announcing their every step to the public and underground heroes who avoided any kind of attention and only did their job.

But there was one person. The hero of heroes. All Might. He had a powerful strength enhancing quirk that he used to endlessly fight crime and bring justice to crime filled Japan. An ideal hero, an exception turned into a standard. Many children wanted to be heroes just like him. And having a powerful quirk was the best way to get closer to that dream. Luckily for Katsuki he had a powerful quirk and sharp mind for his age. He was treated as a prodigy and everyone was excusing his every stunt feeding off his growing ego. As for Izuku who was not far behind his childhood friend in terms of intelligence was utterly powerless. And that powerlessness made him a target for everyone who didn't like him for some reason. And Bakugo Katsuki had a reason to dislike him. They both wanted to become Pro Heroes in the future, just like All Might. But for Katsuki it was insulting. A mere quirkless nobody had the same dream as he did. And that was enough for him to turn Izuku's life into a hell.

'They are just children' everyone was saying, while watching how little Izuku was tormented by other kids under the lead of Bakugo. Midorya still hoped he could be friend with 'Kacchan', though it never happened. When they grew up a little bit, they went into different elementary schools. There Izuku was still bullied and never had a single friend. When rare quirkless kids tried to form their own isolated little group, bullies made everything they possibly could to prevent that. Children could be very cruel sometimes. Midorya studied very hard and after three years his mother decided that he should go to another school where things should go better. There, he tried to fake that he had a minor intelligence enhancer quirk. That was a way better option than being a quirkless nobody. This time he was watching how other quirkless kids, who didn't succeed in faking quirks or decided not to do that, being treated even worse than in elementary school. This time bullies with powerful quirks were just occasionally forcing him to make their homework. But guilt for other quirkless kids, just like him, didn't let him to properly socialize with his peers and he was a loner throughout the rest of the elementary school.

In middle school things turned not into worse, but into as terrible as it even can be. His former childhood friend and tormentor Bakugo Katsuki was in the same school as him. Unfortunately for Midorya, Katsuki's ego exceeded his maturity and he still was ready to torment his former friend for such a silly reason as wanting to be a hero and he pretty enthusiastically turned Izuku into his punching bag. The most popular kid in school had a lot of 'friends' and followers, what's the best way to get closer to him than following him around and copying his every action? Including punching a quirkless kid with and without any reason.

And so Midorya was. Under the rain. Beaten. For no other reason than being unfortunate enough to be both quirkless and a target of the main school's bully. But. What can be possibly going on inside of his head?

* * *

** Not so much for a prologue chapter, but I just wanted to make a little exposition and start from it without putting large introductions later on. Again, not much but I'll hope you'll give it a shot later on.**

** Sorry if I had many mistakes in the text, I'm trying.**


	2. Where is hope

_'That was rough. It was a little bit stronger than the last time'_ In his head Izuku Midoriya was just rumbling that the beating he got actually hurt. _'I should get going. Mom will be worried enough if I come all covered in mud, getting home later than usual won't do any good'_

The mud man attempted to stand up but ultimately failed. The weather was terrible to say the least. It wasn't a downpour but it has been raining for several hours. The water was everywhere – streams, puddles and splashes from cars rushing down the street was the only sight in these deserted streets. The streets were properly cleaned and it was actually hard to find some dirt out there. But of course, school bullies who had a bad day wanted to ensure that Midorya gets a decent mud bath, so today's portion of humiliation mostly consisted of pushing around and covering him with earth and some filth from nearby trash cans mixed in. If he wasn't bashed in the head at some point, Izuku could stand up without any problems but a little dizziness with slippery floor was a great obstacle. When he finally stood up, Midoriya looked at the place that he was wiping with his body just a minute before and silently headed home.

_'They will stop it one day… I hope so…'_ Were the most popular thoughts in the shower. At home he was greeted with his worried mother. Again. Inko Midoriya was familiar with sight of her son being in sorry state returning from school. She knew that her son had problems because of him being quirkless, but she couldn't do anything about it. Izuku didn't want to talk about it with her and trying to press charges on somebody for doing this with her son had higher chances of leading to no results. It could possibly make everything even worse. She could only hope that one day her precious little boy will be out of troubles.

* * *

When Izuku Midoriya was just a little boy he was very joyful and tried to be friends with everyone he met. A woman with a little child, a bunch of teenagers enjoying their day, a serious looking man in a business suit probably having a little break from form or even a creepy looking old man who looked like a dried fruit rather than a human, he always tried to be friendly and cheerful. And it worked. All might had always been his favorite hero because he was always beaming with all his 32 teeth. He always wanted a hero like that in the future. His mother always told him to smile and put on a happy face. But. As time passed everything turned to worse. He was no more an adorable kid, but an 'annoying brat'. He couldn't make friends with everybody he wanted. Even his mother no more cheered him. She was only apologizing that everything is not all right. But up today Izuku was still trying to smile._ 'As long as I am smiling, everything will be fine…** Ha-ha**… Right… **Ha-ha-ha**… Damn, stop it, I'm unbreakable, unbreakable…'_

* * *

"A-a-and look! It's gone!" Midoriya demonstrated his empty hand to the children.

"How did he do it!"

"He's hiding it with quirk!"

"No, he has a different quirk!"

"Yes, he couldn't do that trick with the card if he didn't have a different quirk!"

"He was just lucky to guess!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! That's not all I can do! Watch very carefully."

Since he couldn't be at least a hero in training yet, he could make people happy and bring laughter and joy. He worked part time as a performer. The person who employed him said he has a great natural hair color; a little makeup and he was a funny looking clown. Izuku learned some tricks and stunts and was perfectly ready to participate in some events or visit orphanages and children hospitals. There he could really bring some joy to those who needed it most. The most difficult was the start, any first trick rarely could bring some emotions to his little public, everyone assumed he just did something with his quirk. But as long as he was showing something new, kids became more interested in it and often started shouting either wanting see some more or arguing what quirk allowed Izuku to do all this.

"I don't use any quirk doing this. Everything I show you, can be done by anybody. I can teach you how to do all this! But first, let's sing a little song my friends!" Izuku did all he could to keep the atmosphere. Songs, tricks, games and other things that he prepared brought smiles to their faces. It also helped him forget what he endured at school. But most of all, reminded him who he really is.

When Midoriya visited orphanages, he did all he could to remain 'the friendliest clown in the world who came to make some new friends. In this world only 20% of the population didn't have a quirk. But in such facilities, this statistic was inverted, only 20% of children left there had quirks. And according to the official surveys this became worse and worse with every year. Quirkless children were treated as a curse, as failed attempt and Midoriya knew about it from experience.

But such thoughts only brought determination into Izuku's heart. He still wanted to be a hero. Pro Heroes were everywhere – on TV, they had a lot of merchandise, they participated in public events and most of all, for Izuku at least, they were those who risked their lives to save people from disasters and fought criminals and villains. It was most respected job in Japan and it took a lot of efforts to become one. It was an almost impossible goal for a quirkless person and if he could become a real Pro Hero and even graduate from U.A. high, the most prestigious hero school in Japan, he could prove that quirkless could make a difference and people may start to treat quirkless people with respect that they truly deserve. And most of all, Midoriya could save people with a smile on his face just like All might.

Still, right now Izuku could just work as a clown, entertain people and help financially his mother as he possibly could, study hard and spend some time on physical training to not look like a matchstick. Only future could show him how much he could reach. He could only hope that he will be able to stay strong and move forward. _'I can reach my dreams…** Ha-ha**… I can, right? Yes… Everyone will see just what I can do… **He-he-he**…'_

* * *

**And that's another little chapter. I still can't decide whether I want to make several ~1k chapters or a couple of big ones before the action starts. If you decide that reading this worth your time, please leave a review to share your thoughts (Also write in review if you wants a little pre-chapter Q&A or PM answers). I'm open to criticisms and suggestions.**


	3. Great day

"This is just an ordinary 100-yen coin, see?" Izuku was showing another trick to the children. This time it was a hospice. It was kind of depressing actually. Midoriya was always sent to entertain some children, because he was too young and didn't have a suitable set of skills to be an entertainer of an older audience. But he was rarely visiting kindergartens or birthdays. His usual jobs were orphanages, hospitals and now it a hospice. His employer always says that he's so great with children, that even in the gloomiest places Izuku was able to make people smile. Kind of like his mother said. And his classmates and other peers always laugh at him. The last one wasn't actually a good thing, but he time to time had a thought that instead of being a hero, the universe was making a comedian out of him. That was making his life even more depressing than it already was. "I'm going to bite off a piece of it! Watch closely!"

And, as always, he made another trick and everyone started to yell in excitement. Same things, same guesses and yet another successful performance. After that Izuku 'spitted out' a piece of coin that he 'ate' and caused another burst from children. In a world when everything is about quirks showing something extraordinary without using one gives great results, a silly trick with bending coin makes everyone lose their heads, especially little ill kids. But it wasn't a bad thing, they smiled, they laughed, they felt some happiness and that was the most important thing for Izuku. If he could make a day for somebody, he would do it no matter how depressed he feels at the moment.

Then he noticed a child in the corner. It was obvious that he just couldn't get up and nothing could be done about him being further away. But there were other children further away from the show, and there were a bunch of kids, surrounding their bedridden friends. That child was alone. The furthest one. Midoriya had a guess why, so he approached him.

"Don't go near him!"

"Yeah, he's quirkless and you can catch something from him!"

"You can become quirkless like him!"

"Show us another trick!"

"Let's sing another song!"

"No, songs are boring let's…"

Of course. A quirkless kid. And everyone avoided him. Everyone left him to wither away all alone.

"Hey there, buddy. What's your name?" He wanted to be as friendly as possible. While other kids were arguing what they wanted to do next, Izuku could have a little chat with the poor guy.

"Takeshi." He looked like 7 or 8-year-old and had a very weak voice.

"Say, Takeshi-kun, do you want anything?" Midoriya wanted to do 'something'. He was at least able to do that much.

"Don't mind me. Others don't like when I get something and they don't. I'm fine."

Izuku didn't like that attitude at all. If he could make this boy a little happier just for a few minutes before other children will ruin that, then it was worth a shot. He took out a long piece of rubber out of his pocket a started blowing in it. He wanted to make a balloon dog. What child wouldn't like a balloon dog? _'I just hope they will let him enjoy himself just a little bit… __**Ha-ha-ha**__… Who am I trying to fool? They will start making problems for him as soon as leave.'_

The visit ended 30 minutes later. Everyone looked satisfied. _'Maybe they forgot about him?' _

"Thank kindly! We know that it's hard to keep a good work in such place! Thank you!" One of the… Doctors… Nurses… Workers of this hospice thanked him while they were walking away to the exit. But Midoriya didn't pay much attention to it. He was listening. Waiting for what's going to happen.

** *BANG* **Something blew in the direction they came from.

"Excuse me, I'll go see what happened. Could you please wait here?"

Izuku just nodded and stood still while the worker went back. _'Why I'm not surprised… __**Ha-ha-ha-ha… **__Why is this happening?'_

* * *

Another day at school. As always. 'Bakugo this'. 'Bakugo that'. And 'useless Deku' waits for his today's tormentor to start causing him troubles. 'Kacchan' had a pretty good day and didn't pay much attention to him, so it should be one of his lackeys or just some random guy who was in a mood to relieve some stress om him. He was lucky all day, but his guts were telling him that hope is yet to arrive.

_'I wonder why Takeshi was in the corner. When I arrived there, workers said that these children weren't in their actual chambers, they were moved there so they could all play with me. Takeshi had some medical equipment around him, it couldn't be moved by other children.' _Midoriya stopped dead in his tracks. "**Hm-hm-hm-hm…**" _'That means… __**Ha-ha-ha! **__He was moved there by the staff! __**SERIOUSLY!?**__'_

"Hey! Deku-boy!" Someone called. The voice was just in a couple of meters away. They sure wanted to take him by surprise. "What are you giggling about?"

"H-hello… Yamashita-san? It's nothing, just something I remembered." _'Well, that's just great…' _Just another school thug. This guy wasn't the usual face, but he sometimes was pretty eager to put a big pile of dog shit into someone's plans. Today it most certainly was Izuku, now surrounded by his seniors.

"Say, Deku-boy, me and my friends want to take a bite, but we are a little bit short on money. I was wondering if you could 'borrow' some to us?"

"S-sorry, I don't have any right now… Or actually always. My family is tight on budget, so I don't carry around more than I need." His mother couldn't make much money doing her job. His father was obliged by the court to pay alimony to them and that combined with some little earning Izuku got from his part time job allowed him and his mother to live without suffering financial problems. They lived as a middle class. Though his mother sometimes gets some money from someone anonymous when their situation started to get dire. Maybe someone took enough pity for them and decided to help. Its not like it was actually a bad thing…

"Ah, yes. The problems of quirkless people with single-parent family. How sad…"

_'Yamashita Ken, 3rd year, quirk - Knockback. His quirk allows him to multiply the kinetic energy applied to any object upon impact or release. A jab, push, throw or punch – any kind of contact would make anything he touches fly away. Just a love tap could make even a grown person fall. A regular push would make the same target wipe several meters of the floor with their body. The most dangerous thing about it is not the initial impact, but what comes after. The best way to utilize it in battle is a serious punch or push in the direction of some hard surface that can withstand the impact to maximize the damage. The weakness is that quirk affects only the rebound. The strike itself has ordinary force behind it. Absence of any surface within close or middle range behind the target will just create the distance, which is dangerous in case the target has any means of ranged attacks. Soft surface behind the target will negate render the effect of the quirk useless. Standing right next to the wall or other surface will not allow the target's body build up enough speed to cause any sufficient damage. Furthermore…'_

One of the things that Izuku liked was analyzing quirks. When something picked up his interest, he would thoroughly observe it and make notes based on what he's seen. Often, he wouldn't remember the name of a person, but could remember perfectly what said person's quirk was. Like this time. He barely remembered who the prick in front him was, but he recalled what his quirk was. He saw how this guy used his power on others. A couple of times he experienced it himself, but fortunately, Yamashita didn't consider him as someone who was 'worthy' of his attention. He would notice Midoriya's existence only when there was literally nothing else to do. _Like this time._ Saying some nasty things and 'politely' pointing out how terrible it is, waiting for his prey to blurt out something worth being beaten for that. But Izuku just went deep into his thought, turning his attention to his hobby. Thoughts about the quirk of the person in front of him, details, _potential weaknesses and downsides_ were helping him keep silent. Some positive thoughts always helped him endure. **_Like this time__._**

Suddenly the courtyard in front of school was filled with profanities. Lots and lots of profanities. A student with some bucket in his hands was running and screaming things inappropriate for this time and place, followed by a janitor loudly badmouthing the 'pesky brat'.

"Ha-ha-ha! What did that clown do this time?" That clearly caught attention of Izuku's seniors, who decided that intimidating the quirkless junior was less funny than the scene in front of them. Judging by Ken's words the guy with a bucket does something on regular basis.

Silently thanking janitor and his prey, Midoriya left school grounds and headed home. Aside from that little scare he had, that was surprisingly a good day. So far it was the best day he had in school. The best day just because almost nothing happened.

* * *

** Ayyy. I have so little time to write this thing. But I'm trying. I was planning to (What if you wanted to) spend some time on this during weekend, But (God said) there was a blood hunt in Dead by daylight, so I spent my free time on that.**

** I'll try to post something as soon as possible. If I'll have enough free. If you feel that this Midoriya isn't depressed enough feel free to PM me. I'll make him even more depressed.**

** Also during my last Japanese class I came up with a stupid idea. Watch this.**

'元元 likes you'


	4. There is way

Izuku returned home as fast as he could. Lady fortune was a very mysterious entity. She may be smiling to Midoriya right now, but he didn't want to test whether it was genuine or she was about to laugh at him for letting the guard down. He must stay vigilant.

His mom is yet to return from work, so he just went straight to his room. It was very nice and cosy. At least from a big All Might's fan point of view. The room was filled with Japan's number one hero merchandise. All Might posters, All Might figurines, All Might stationery and even All Might bed sheets. Izuku really admires this man, though statistically speaking Endeavor – Japan's number two hero was leading in terms of solved cases a little bit and the difference between their results is growing month by month, but Endeavor could never be a hero that All Might is. A true hero, who saves the day with a smile and whose appearance inspired hope. Everyone knows that for number two hero it's a competition and that's why he will always remain number two.

Izuku was staring at the biggest poster in his room. He was always trying to have the same beaming grin that his idiot had, but every time he looked in the mirror it looked kinda… Creepy… Or awkward. So, he made his own smile, if he couldn't inspire hope, he could at least lighten the mood. What his facial features couldn't achieve he would compensate with makeup. White face, big red smile and little brows on the forehead. And the last, but not least - the red nose. What clown does not have a red nose? He was always made his face a little different, like choosing what color should be the edges of his grin or what should be drawn around his eyes. Sometimes he made them to fit the theme of his performance, like drawing hearts, tiles, clovers or pikes if he was going to show a lot of card tricks or yen and dollar signs in case it would be tricks with coins or bills. He dedicated a corner of his room especially for all his clown stuff, just a table with a bunch of toys and fancy things he used to entertain people and a big mirror to prepare a makeup at home. He also had some items stored at the office where other entertainers were preparing for their job, but since he had only a part time job, he mainly kept his equipment at home.

'One day, I'm going to become a hero just like you, All Might.' Izuku was glaring holes in the poster. With unblinking stare he was concentrating his full attention on every wrinkle on the face of the hero. Only to suddenly kick his backpack with full force across the room spilling its contents.

"Ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha-**ha-ha-ha**!" He started laughing. He knew that laughing helps relieve stress. Also doing something violent helps get hold of oneself. But his outburst came out too easy and his backpack may require some repairs after that kick. "I'm never going to be a hero." Izuku wanted to just lie down on the bed or floor, hug himself and wait for his mother to arrive or to receive a call sending him for another job. But growling in his stomach told him that he should eat something before depressing himself even more.

In the fridge a portion of katsudon was waiting for him. Izuku liked it. That was his favorite food. This day wasn't actually just good. So far it was great. A little bit of dark thoughts was just making him more resilient. Once he filled his belly, he could do his studies or go to another god forsaken place that needed help of a clown in fancy suit and a big smile. Then he noticed a note on the table. He picked it up and there was some cash under it. His mom wrote that he earned this money and should spend it himself. Izuku wasn't satisfied with this message. He knew that they weren't in the worst situation regarding money, but still, they could use everything they could. Leaving something to irresponsible him was bad, she knew better how to manage family finances. But what would his mother do with that? Bought another piece of All Might merch for him? Buy him another trinket so he could put it on his costume? His mother could do that. She always says that he tries to make people smile with all his efforts but rarely smiles at home. At she wants to see him smile. Genuinely. and he knew just the thing that would make him smile.

* * *

Another job, another place to go. This time Izuku decided that he should bring something with him. He had two bags full of toys and sweets. He couldn't do much, a bunch of miscellaneous items couldn't make any difference. But Midoriya can only do what he actually can and nothing more. But he always wanted to do more, so he bought a lot of presents.

He turned around the corner into a narrow passage. That was clearly a mistake. Something hit him in the head and he just bumped into a concrete wall like a ragdoll. He could hear the sound of his skull giving a crack. The impact itself wasn't that strong, but the speed at which he made a date with the hard surface immediately gave out who the attacker was.

"Hey, Deku-boy. I didn't say I was done with you." Yamashita Ken was here. And a bunch of his friends.

"Ken, I think you got him good."

"You're going to give a monologue to a passed out." Two of his followers said looking at the motionless figure near the wall.

"Monologue? Seriously? Am I some kind of cartoon villain who talks about his plans out loud to boast?"

"Aren't you?"

"Sometimes I see on TV how villains give a speech before being taken down by a hero."

"…"

They were about to start bickering when the seemingly unconscious Midoriya started groaning.

"Never start with the head. The victim gets all fuzzy." Izuku muttered trying to get up. He spoke from experience. He got hit in the head a lot, in different moments of the beatings and knew that when he was half-conscious the process was undoubtedly less painful. "I won't feel the next-" He was suddenly kicked into a wall again. He should feel a dull pain in the stomach after that, but he didn't. "See?"

"Oh, so you're so fucked up? You feel no pain? How about that?" And Ken started kicking the boy in the head, ribs, stomach, legs. He wanted have some fun by messing with this quirkless piece of shit, but he didn't get the reaction he hoped to see. His victim wasn't cowering or begging for mercy. But that idiot was giggling. Of all things that worthless clown-dressed-hero-wannabe was mocking him! "How about this, bitch! Do you feel it now?"

"Dude! Chill out!" His friends were searching through the bag of sweets and occasionally taking something from the toys saying something like 'what the hell is this?'

Finally, Ken stopped his barrage, took the first thing he saw on the floor and stormed away unsatisfied, Either with the results of the attack or with the chocolate candy in his hand. His followers joined him immediately, leaving beaten Izuku with torn bags on the ground.

Izuku didn't know what he should do. How should he feel. What should he feel? He should have known, that all along lady fortune was looking at him with an autistic smile on her face. That for him something good couldn't last for long. Just one day. Without problems. Without beatings. Without sounds of his cracking dreams. Without children left by their parents. Without hopeless and innocent kids suffering for nothing. Without all of this!

'I must stay strong… I must… I… **HA-HA-HA-HA**… What a fucking hell… Stay strong… Vigilant… Heroes don't break over such things… I've been through such things countless times… I just need to stand proud and show this world that I can still smile.' He was encouraging himself. Izuku couldn't stand properly, the only thing he could do is to not let his spirit fall even more. He started slowly searching through his pockets, praying that his phone wasn't broken and miraculously survived trough the beating. When he found it untouched and fully functional, he was very glad. Though autistic, still a smile. The he started looking around, maybe someone saw it and was stunned, maybe a car with the camera, an actual camera… There it was. A shop on the corner, with the camera watching everything that happens in the passage between the buildings. "**Ha… Ha-ha… HA-HA-HA-HA!**" What a convenience. Everything was caught on tape. All he had to do is call the police.

* * *

"Ouch… That was nasty."

"What a son of bitch."

Two cops were watching the recordings of how a little teenage clown was being beaten and his belonging being taken away. The said clown was sitting in the staff room nearby. The old man that owns the shop said that it was a very popular place for criminals to attack unaware people and that installing the camera in plain sight wasn't much help in preventing those things, but catching the guilty was a lot easier. Also, the owner had helped to attend Izuku while ambulance and the police was on the way. Paramedics said that he wasn't in danger – concussion, a several of bruises, some scratches and a broken rib. Without serious internal bleeding, but he will get a lot of blue spots on his body later. Could be worse.

"Gotta say, it's surprising you don't have a skull fracture. Considering how he sent you head on into a wall." One of the police officers said turning to Midoriya.

"It was his quirk… The punch wasn't as dangerous as it's effects…" Izuku gained attention of the second officer. "Knockback… It's called Knockback… He arranged my speed date with a wall using that…"

"So, you know that guy? Tell us what you know about him."

"Yamashita Ken… He is a last year middle school student… He often uses his quirk on others… It's useful to push others around… But beating someone lying on the floor isn't his forte… I would be in much worse condition if it was effective on someone pushed into a corner… literally…" Speaking wasn't that easy when you head spins and you have shivers constantly running through your spine, but he must explain everything. The day was ruined. His job was ruined. He wanted to help everyone, but that bastard didn't let him do that. He is bad guy. He used his quirk on him. Yamashita Ken was a villain and must be punished. He just needs to say he right words. Cops are humans after all. They have feelings. He just needs to stimulate the right ones to achieve the result. "So, he constantly bullies people in open… He has a bunch of goons following him around… If I tried to run… They would start doing something to me… He wanted take my pocket money today… But I got away from him… He didn't like that… Obviously…" He saw how stiffed the law enforcers became. Delinquent, quirk abuse, holds petty grudges, has a group of followers, inflicts injuries on others. He needs more. Izuku starts to sob. It comes out easily. Too easily. "I have a part time job… A clown, as you can see… _*sob*_… I just want to make people s-smile… And… A-and…_ *sob*_… Th-th-this happens…" Tears started pouring down his cheeks. His makeup was already in bad shape, now two colorful streaks were making it even more twisted. "I… I… Want to be of help… _*sob*_… I b-bought some little presents… For kids in the orphanage…" He was shivering. He couldn't stop it. It was hard to properly breathe. "B-but… E-even... Even though those things… Were... Utterly **USELESS** for them, they still took it and what remained ended up in a trash can! **WHA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAaaa!** **HA-HA-HA-HA…**" _This laughing._ He couldn't stop it. He tears didn't stop to. He was a mess, and he couldn't do a thing about it.

"Oh god, this boy is fucked up."

"Maybe it wasn't the first time he got such treatment."

"What sane person would do that to him?" The police officers were sweating. The little clown in front of them had a breakdown and there was definitely a story behind this.

"Well then, we have some serious job to do. This boy needs help. A lot. Let's get him home first, then we're going to pay a visit to that 'knockbacker.'" He helped Izuku get up to his feet and with assistance of the shop owner started moving towrds the exit. "Sorry that you had to close sooner today. Calm down. Calm down, son. Tell us where you live, we'll get you there. There's still some thing we want to ask you about."

"Heeeee… Hee-hee-**heeeee**…" The laugh, more like wheezes. It was for the better. Laughing helps. Laughing meant that everything is fine. Like when All Might comes to save the day. Laugh and smile meant that it's fine.

Everything. Is. **FINE.**

* * *

**When it's obviously not. **

** To answer the reviews about this Joker's personality. When the attention will be put towards Izuku's 'unwell-being' it will be like Phoenix's Joker. A quagmire of depression an S. When there will be action he'll be like Ledger's Joker, always trying to pull some Joseph-Joestar-level of shit. But I'll about it more when I get there.**

** Leave reviews and hope that I'll post quality content without an ocean of mistakes.**

** The last post-chapter lines will always be some dumb shit. This time I'll say that my nickname on this side is named after Legion Commander's 1st spell in Dota 2.**


	5. But there is no hope

Classes were boring as usual. Almost the same as every other time. Though this time he felt different. Midoriya couldn't say for sure what exactly was different. There were some trivial things that were always pretty much mundane, now seemed… Different. Maybe it was a result of yesterday's breakdown, be because whatever happened, it seemed… Funny. When everyone made fun of his bruises it didn't made him sad. When Kacchan barked at him, Izuku didn't feel frightened. The things that should intimidate and bring negative emotions didn't work the way they should. It wasn't an apathy. It was… Something else.

This day could go well enough, considering he had bruises all over his body everyone was either going easy on him or saying something mean from the distance. The most interesting thing was how bullies treated him. He wasn't just a punching bag to relieve stress or just to have some fun out of people's cruel nature. He was more like a meal to be savored. A prey to be hunted. No one with some parody of a pride will touch leftovers. No one is going to look through a butchered animal. All they have to do is trying to snatch some clean part and laugh from the distance at his sorry state and wait until he returns nice and fresh to worked on. And frail weak Izuku couldn't do anything about it. Only endure and hope.

Midoriya was walking in the corridor after the class. Whispers were his constant fiends when he was walking in the open, but right now the halls were almost empty. This break between the classes was long and most students were either having lunch or doing something outside. The only problem he has right now is the guy from yesterday. Ken could be anywhere and do anything to him. He clearly wasn't happy about the police knocking on his door. Izuku only has to wait and see much he didn't appreciate that. He carefully approached the corner. An ambush could await right here.

"…And he just straight up attacked him!" Or not.

"Is he a brain-dead?" Izuku heard voices of Ken's friend right behind the corner. The lady fortune once again was trying to tell him something with her smile. Maybe eavesdropping could help him realize what exactly is she trying to say with it.

"Isn't attacking a police officer is a dumbest thing you could do?"

"He could take on a hero. That would be even better idea."

"He forgot that heroes just beat the shit out of bad guys and the policemen are actually the ones who arrest them." Right now, it was obvious that Yamashita attacked the police officer for some reason. He couldn't just walk up to them ask for details or get straight to the point. He had to deal without the things they said before.

"Now on top of the things he'd had, he was charged with resisting arrest, assaulting a police officer and something else for denting their car, I didn't understand what exactly, I only got that he was in a deep shit."

"What's up guys?" There was another voice coming in. Ken's group had a lot of people in it, one of them got there just now.

"Daiki was at Ken's place, cops knocked on his door, he went mental, attacked them and now he's on his way to jail." Pretty convenient summary. So those policemen did go after Ken. At least some good news. _**'If that son of bitch goes to jail, I hope he rots there.'**_

Izuku was startled by his own train of thoughts. It wasn't good to think that way. Even though the person in question could potentially bring him a lot of harm.

"Why did he do?"

"Cops came into his house because they got some evidence of him beating the shit out that clown guy, he threw a tantrum and went berserk. Now he goes to jail." Even better summary. "Oh, he was also screaming that he will kill him, so he got death threats on top. He was like 'He is just a quirkless maggot. A less than a person, why would someone care about him?' And so on. Wouldn't call that the best words for the situation he got."

"Should we do something about it?"

"Fuck that, dude. Let's just say that Ken went a little too far with all of this and forget about it. I'm not in a mood to do something stupid and get a shot ton of problems on my ass. Well, he was kinda short on fuse, I'm not surprised he did that, honestly. Let's just go to arcade after school or something. Who's with me?" A bunch of positive answers and the sound of the group going away could be heard.

Izuku was shivering. He was about to explode and he wasn't sure himself in what way. He quickly ran into a bathroom. Yamashita Ken – the person who gave him a breakdown yesterday, did something incredibly stupid and was going to pay for it. He did some bad things to him; a tremendous number of people did. But finally, someone got what was he deserved.

"**HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!**" Izuku laughed as loud as he could. It was genuinely pleasant feeling. How could someone be so dumb to do that? He could get away with that almost unscathed, given what he did. Given to whom he did that. But getting over his head so much to attack someone from law enforcement because he thought that what he did was perfectly fine. That was hilarious. Midoriya was suffocating from laughing. And he didn't want to stop.

* * *

It was a little bit over a week since it began. There shouldn't be much of a reason for it, but whenever something happened, Midoriya was giggling. There wasn't a single class when no one didn't tell Izuku to shut up. He couldn't do much about it. He wanted to keep his mouth shut. But there was always something that would catch his attention. A little something in an ordinary thing that would nudge him to hum or giggle. He always suffered from muttering about something. When he found something to think about, for example an interesting quirk to analyze, he would always mutter what he was thinking and everyone were always whispering how annoying it is. And now he giggles instead of muttering. Now everyone whispers how creepy it is. They whisper that Izuku went nuts and imagines some 'psycho' things and someone 'should lock this creep in the asylum'. But everything was still the same. But instead of mutter was laugh. But instead of being silent when said, he couldn't stop now.

Izuku was sitting in the therapist's office with his mom. The school administration contacted her about her son's giggling problem and asked to check if everything was okay with his head. He was asked questions, showed some images at one moment he was shown to the doctor with an x-ray quirk, after that he was taken to another doctor, who used some quirk on him. He wasn't told what exactly he did. And now the therapist was silently writing something in her journal.

"We're mostly done, but I have something to say to your mother, kid. Could you wait for her outside?" Izuku complied and left the room. There was a massage chair for free use in the corridor, so he was perfectly fine with waiting for a little bit.

* * *

They were laughing at him. He wanted to make everyone laugh _with _him, but no one wanted to take him even a little bit serious.

"That's right, fucking Deku! Being a damn clown is just the right thing for you!" Kacchan always ridiculed him no matter what ever since they were four. And it got even worse since they've met again in middle school. Someone spotted him yesterday in his clown attire and today everyone already knew that Midorya had this part time job. Izuku was bullied even more.

"But I just want to see people smiling. What's wrong with that?" He felt that his chest was tightening from the inside. Thing were pretty much bad already. He was pushed around for any small reason. Now his classmates and other students didn't need any reasons to make him feel terrible. They were enjoying it.

"Wanna see people smile, eh?" Suddenly Kacchan sucker punched him with his quirk. This sent Midoriya a couple of meters away, right into a random table. It hurt badly. And of course, everyone found it funny. It was _funny _for the, how a useless Deku was thrown like a ragdoll. How he was in pain. "Come on, is that all?" Kacchan didn't stop mocking him. He mocking his inability to do anything about it. When Izuku tried to stand up, he got pushed even further away by the next explosion. This caused the class to laugh even more. "See, everyone is smiling and laughing. Just as you wanted, Deku." No one tried to stop his tormentor. No one tried to help him.

"Everyone, sit down. Midoriya quit lying on the floor and get to your sit, we have no time for some silly jokes." It was just a _joke _for the teacher. Even for a grown-up person, a professional, it was an amusement to see a quirkless kid suffer. And Izuku could do nothing but comply, stand up with difficulty and get to his seat under everyone's mocking gaze.

"What's wrong with him?" Was the first thing Inko asked as soon as her son was out of the office. His change in behavior wasn't left unnoticed by her. At first, she thought that he just had a good day. Izuku now has a faint smile most of the time, instead of deadpanned expression that changed only when he had to interact with her. His humming and occasional laughs were like a music to her ears, her baby boy didn't look like a worn off husk of a human. But only for a day. Pretty soon she realized that he had the same reaction to everything. Usually when he saw a hero on TV, he became visibly happy. When he had a bad day at school, he looked gloomy. He looked sad when there was a reason, he looked deep in thoughts when there was a reason, he was smiling when _there was a reason. _But for a week already he had this constant look, as if he heard something funny and nothing could change his expression.

"This is a rather unusual case, but nothing fatal. As you perfectly aware of, quirkless people have very harsh lives today. Problems with employment, relationships, high suicide rates etc. and etc. Even their relatives struggle because of that, especially people like you – their parents. I have friend who is in the same situation as you, her husband left her alone with a quirkless child because 'it was her weak genes' and 'he didn't want to have such a mistake spoil his life. Bitch… Sorry, I just have to deal with such cases when people go insane because of such things. Back on topic. Adults suffer from one problems and children have theirs. They are less restricted and more aggressive. Your son is, most likely, being severely bullied at school and from what I concluded so far, with a great amount of physical abuse." Inko was aware how much her son suffered from the hands of his peers, but she couldn't do anything about it. It was easier to count days when he didn't return home without bruises or covered in dirt. She _had_ a solution for that, but she wouldn't risk ruining the parody of a normal life they had. "This is actually a very crucial detail in this situation, from your words this was going on for about a week, when he back home with the police. Your son said that paramedics checked him on place and didn't diagnosed him with anything severe. This was a very unprofessional of them, they should have taken him to a hospital, because your son had a skull fracture."

"**What?**" That was just outright ridiculous. Her baby boy had a skull fracture and she was told about it just now? "But why Izuku didn't say anything about it? Such thing couldn't just go unnoticed by him?"

"Like I said, prolonged physical abuse is the most dangerous aspect in such situations. He is very accustomed to the constant pain. He probably let it slide because head traumas are an ordinary thing to him, which is very, very bad. It takes toll both on his physical and mental state. From our interview I can say that your son is very strong in psychological aspect. He is fourteen and still he wants to be a hero, he wants to help people with all he can do, no matter how small it is. Have you ever told him that he can be a hero?"

"Honestly… Ever since he was diagnosed quirkless I have never told him that he can be a hero. Whenever he asked me that question, I always apologized to him that he was born like that." She was ashamed of that. Izuku always wanted to be a hero despite all the thing life has thrown at him. Sometimes she felt that all the things Hisashi told her all those years ago were true. "But being a hero is very dangerous. A quirkless person can't become a hero, I just can't bring myself to tell him that."

"This is actually not the worst situation. You didn't encourage him nor denied his dreams in his face in hopes that he will stop having such a dream. Your denial could shake his sanity even more. On the other note, the place that smiles and laughter have in his life is great thing and I should commend you for that. Positive emotions can make miracles. And it's pretty much a miracle that keeps him in the state he is right now." Inko didn't like at all where this was going. "These constant laughs and faint smiles are the defensive mechanism his mind put up to keep him safe. It is fortunate that all his traumas didn't make a brain damage. He is a smart child and relatively sane, but if thing will go on as they are, he will not last long. His smile is keeping him on borrowed time in such conditions."

"B-but… What can I do?" Tears were forming in Inko's eyes. She was one step from bursting into hysterics.

"I don't know." Was the cold answer that came from the therapist. "I wish I could give you a piece of advice that would prove useful, but…" But Inko didn't listen to her already. She was crying. She wanted her son a normal life. She doesn't want him getting involved in warfare between heroes and villains. She wants her son to be safe from strife, not rush into it to save others. But it turned out to be impossible.

When Inko finally left the office she immediately spotted her son's figure vibrating in a massage chair. There were no other people here right now. The therapist gave a receipt for some medicine that could help Izuku last longer, or at least make the situation a little better. She watched as her son was giggling. And with the vibrations from the chair it sounded a little bit… _Insidious._

* * *

** It's kinda long for an opening before something starts and there will at least two more (If I don't decide that there can't be too much depression), so it will be a 'Midoriya slowly goes nuts' arc. This builds up pretty slowly (considering my upload schedule) , but it's still yet to reach 10k words mark, so it's a slow process only if you read it in on-going.**

** I think that I'm doing something dumb, but snus told me a couple of times that everything is fine.**

** The last thing I want to say in author notes is the recurring phrase of my several months of economics classes - Think at the margin. I definitely don't take into consideration this words when I make my decisions.**


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